LOST.

nah, it's not your fault, truly.
yeah i thought that last meeting helped, i thought. until i found out that there my emotions are so complicated.

honestly, i told yen i m gonna talk to you that day. i FAILed. i don't even know where to start, i have no more emotions, no more feelings.....

there are times where i feel my heart is freezed, or shld i say i freezed my own heart, yeah at least that's what i could say.......
and unfortunately i locked myself up that afternoon.

i was happy that whole day and the nxt, until i realised....i am being happy bcoz i think i shld be, not that i really am...

i thought i've already accepted, i thought i am back to my ownself.

until i realised, time passed, i can go back to that old self....
i hated myself for being kinda insane this whole month,
i've nvr accidentally slept on sofa at nite
i've nvr wanna scream nor beat ppl when i m frustrated
i've nvr been so dumb until i can't sleep before 1am
i've nvr looked at a particular thingy for hours and do nothing
i've nvr BEEN LIKE THIS BEFORE!

there was once i was extremely desperate for that one-hour-call
i missed that too, NOW.

i know we both don't want anything bad to happen,
we both are sure about our feelings.
it's just that....

i haven't figured out what actually happened to me yet. it's weird.
not yet.

these things take time
that's the worst excuse i can tell myself.

i am sorry, i wasn't in purpose.