Hardest thing to do in the world...??

People say…confessing is the hardest thing to do in the whole world…and ‘I love you’ & ‘sorry’ are the hardest word to say…
But to me…being myself is the hardest thing to do and the hardest word to say… ‘I don’t want’- objections….

Yesterday, someone asked me what my dream is…
My dream, my dream, my dream….
I asked myself, but truthfully, I don’t know what my dream is….
How useless I am, a person without a dream…..

In my entire life, erm.....not exactly…just the past 14 years and 6 months….
I realized that everything I did was fulfilling other people’s dreams….some were mine too, though….but most of them not….
I have always wanted to be myself, doing things in my own way, but I didn’t get the permission to do that…in fact I am not given the permission to do that either….it’s just…tiring….
Or….Am I wrong?? I am not deserve for that??

People always say that our life is on our hands…but my life is always on other people’s hands…I am controlled…it’s like I am a bird locked in the cage…and I hate that….

The reason why….I knew that…the lack of trust…people don’t trust me….and that is why they don’t allow me…trust and believe….how am I going to gain it???

When I seek for advice from other people…they always give me the same answer….things will change….but it has been 14 years and 6 months and things never changed…..I tried to make people trust me…I really tried….but at last…what I get is….nothing….
Confused, confused, confused….

So, what exactly is the hardest thing to do in the world???


p/s: 能够梦自己向梦的，去自己想去的，做自己想做的，才是最幸福的….